Ed Recovery Story from Hilary Crannage

Ed Recovery Story from Hilary Crannage

Share your Vow of Strength with us here.
Let us know how you recovered from an Eating Disorder, you may help someone.

03/05/16
“It started growing up, and sitting in the doctor’s office during a physical. I’m a Type 1 Diabetic so these happened a lot. I was always told the, according to the average BMI chart, I was overweight. But it never occurred to me that I didn’t look overweight. That it was just how my body was built thicker and heavier.
My sister is build like a skinny rail which I constantly compared myself to. So I was always body conscious, and that awareness grew when I started to get into my teens and would stand for hours in the bathroom examining my body. I would get really upset at the amount of skin I could pinch in certain places. The worst area, I believed, was my stomach. God I HATED how much of my stomach jiggled. In reality it was just skin and water. I was hitting puberty and these things happen. It didn’t occur to me that I wore a size 9 long jean size and that was by no means plus size. In my mind if I could pinch it, it was fat. which meant that I was fat.
I found a love for running in high school. I was never the fastest by any means. Long distance runners are very lean and lanky, and I am neither. However the more I kept at it, the faster I got. Until I hit a plateau and realised that the only way to be as competitive as I needed to be, was to lose weight.  That’s when the insecurity became obsession.
SENIOR YEAR
It was the beginning of senior year in high school when I started eating less and exercising more. Gradually the weight started to fall off and my endurance went up. In the end I could run at the level I needed but I went from a healthy weight for me of 155-160 lbs to 120 lbs. you could see every bone in my body. I could fit into clothes that were too small for my younger sister.
I was an anorexic diabetic.
My parents threatened rehab so I decided to face the demon and make myself eat. But I gained little weight because I spent most of my time working out.
By the time I was running in college I hit my fastest time but at a cost. My body was worked too hard and was injured. Forced to take a break from running when the weight came back with a vengeance. When I went back to running I weighed 180 lbs and hit rock bottom again.
I kept running but dislocated my knee in track and was forced to stop running for good. This was hard. How could I appease that demon in my head now? My father was a powerlifter and made sure to expose me to it. so I started powerlifting and eventually bodybuilding. Its taken about a year since then and I am now finally at a point where I am confident and comfortable with myself. I’ve found a healthy way to obsess over my appearance.
I weigh close to 175 lbs but this time its muscle. Strong is beautiful, and you have to eat to be strong.”
– Hilary Crannage
@hcphoto93